Nonprofit Offers ‘Dream’ Weddings for Terminally Ill Couples (Exclusive)

Every day, Lacey Wicksall fields calls from couples across the country who are deeply in love but running out of time.

And that’s exactly why Wicksall is talking to them.

As executive director of the Chicago-based nonprofit Wish Upon A Wedding, the 52-year-old mother of two helps provide free wedding ceremonies and vow renewals for couples facing a terminal illness or life-changing health condition.

“I just spoke to a couple on the phone a few hours ago and I still have tears in my eyes,” Wicksall says of a recent phone call checking on a couple who were in the process of applying for a wedding at the nonprofit. “We all had tears in our eyes. It is difficult.”

Since 2009, the organization has made nearly 300 “dream” ceremonies possible by working with wedding industry professionals who donated everything from catering to wedding attire to a venue, videographers and DJs.

Wicksall explains: “When you’re going through a tragedy, you just need someone to go into your darkness and do something good for you. And that’s exactly what we’re here for – to provide respite in the middle of the storm.”

Couples who often learn about the organization from nurses or various support groups apply through the group’s website. Before being selected for an interview, Wicksall and “wish coordinator” Megan Biehl check the applicant’s health status with their doctor or hospice worker and then get to work learning more about the couple and their vision for their dream ceremony.

“We ask a lot of questions about her story in the interview,” explains Wicksall. “Tell us how you met, how you found out about your diagnosis, why it is important for you to get married or renew your wedding vows? And what do you love about each other? So many couples are never asked this question. And we give each of them a chance to speak, and usually they cry the whole time – and so do we.”

If selected, the nonprofit, which provides $2,000 for each “wish,” begins contacting wedding planners in the couple’s area, explaining their situation and asking if they might be interested in joining the organization to help with the ceremony.

“When they called me, I thought, ‘I can’t say no,'” recalls Georgia-based wedding planner Lydia Leek, who organized a wedding for a young couple – Skylar Bernstein and Sam Wombough – in August after the 22nd. The one-year-old bride was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive form of brain cancer.

With time of the essence, Leeks quickly got to work, spending hours with the couple to get a feel for the vibe they wanted to achieve with their wedding. She then reached out to her list of suppliers to see if they might also want to join in and donate their services.

“I spoke to more than twelve of them – from florists and photographers to cake caterers – and everyone was so helpful. I didn’t have to ask anyone twice. They all just said yes.”

The result was a nearly $60,000 wedding at the Conley Creek venue in Blairsville, Georgia, with the Blue Ridge Mountains as a backdrop. “It was everything I could have dreamed of,” says Bernstein. “And it was all taken care of for us.”

Not surprisingly, the ceremonies are often more than just a wedding or vow renewal – they are a celebration of life.

“People often tell us how wonderful it is to bring everyone you love together in the same room before they die,” Wicksall says. “Often our wishes are similar to a living funeral. Two years ago we did one where the groom fell asleep and died on the night of his wish. Every single person he loved was allowed to be there that evening to say goodbye to him.”

Over the years, Wicksall has also learned that the best-planned ceremonies can often be changed at the last moment due to health concerns.

“If we have a venue where everything is fully planned and the person takes a turn for the worse at the last moment, we can pivot and do it in their backyard or in a hospital room,” Wicksall says. “Our teams fully understand that at the end of the day, what matters is what the intended recipient can handle that day.”

Most importantly, for couples who often feel like they’re living on borrowed time, Wicksall and her team of big-hearted wedding professionals across the country can provide, for a few fleeting moments, a joyful respite from the drudgery of endless doctor’s appointments and treatment plans.

“Mothers can put on a beautiful dress and either wear a wig or wear their normal hair, have their hair and makeup done and feel beautiful again for the first time in eighteen months because the chemotherapy has taken them away,” says Wicksall. “It gives people a day when they just don’t have to think about the hell they’re living through.” . We are in the business of hope because hope gives people something to look forward to and live for.”