Arrest reveals family’s child porn perverts

Dear Abby: Many months ago, the husband of a family member was charged with possession and distribution of more than 10,000 items of child pornography. Police and the Department of Homeland Security searched her home and confiscated computers, cellphones and other devices. He was arrested and spent about a week in jail. He hired a very good lawyer and all charges were dismissed.

His wife, our blood relative, stayed by his side. She remains married to him and has no plans to leave him. She keeps us updated on legal developments and says his lawyers believe he won’t serve any prison time because “he’s in his mid-70s and has never been convicted of a crime.”

Although the charges were dismissed, we are uncomfortable having him in our home because there are small children present at our gatherings. It is important to note that his wife never denied that he saw and distributed these materials. She just said, “You are portraying him as a monster.” How can we continue to support her while at the same time letting her know when the time comes that he is NOT welcome? This chain of events was devastating for our entire family. – Destroyed in the East

Dear Devastated: Your concern is understandable, but I have to doubt that you have all your facts straight. On the one hand, you declare that all charges against this man have been dismissed. On the other hand, you say that his lawyer thinks he won’t serve any prison time because of his age, which makes me wonder if some sort of agreement has been reached and all he has to do is community service.

You may want to provide emotional support to this family member, but if the parents of minor children feel that their husband may be a danger to them, those children need to be protected. And if that means not exposing her to the couple, then so be it.

Dear Abby: I have been with my husband for 16 years. He has two children aged 17 and 19. Every year he spends the big holidays with his ex and his children. I can’t go with him because his ex ruined my chance of a relationship with his children. Honestly, they hate me and blame me for their parents’ divorce.
I have five children. During the holidays I make time for her, but my husband comes first. I don’t think he should do that. Am I wrong? He’s been doing this for 16 years. I mention it every year and he always says next year will be different. Please share your thoughts with me. – I miss him back in Washington

Dear missing people: This year will be no different, and neither will the next few years. My question to you is: WERE you responsible for the breakdown of his marriage? According to the emails I’ve received over the years, many marriages were long over before either spouse filed for divorce. If the “children” are right, they will not change their attitude at this late date. However, if you weren’t at fault, their father should have fixed them when they were old enough to understand.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and created by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.