How to live presently and in harmony with yourself

This article was written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TX State Chapter.

College is supposed to be one of the best times of our lives. Then why does it feel so lonely? When I was growing up, the media I consumed—from TV shows and YouTube videos to music—painted a picture of a perfect era full of never-ending excitement, new opportunities, and friendships. But now that I’m here, the reality seems far from what I imagined. Ironically, all I want to do is relive the nostalgic moments I once so desperately wanted to live past. I’ve longed for years to be older and ready for the next stage of my life, and I have a lingering sense of disappointment that I haven’t valued the more youthful parts of my life. Now I’m learning that living in the present must start from within.

Every year as I get older, I realize that I’m still waiting for another time. I’m waiting for the end of the semester, the end of the year, or a future where I feel more secure through an active social life. I lived like that to long and don’t want any more – and I’m sure I’m not alone with this feeling. A big part of the problem is that college life doesn’t match the aesthetic I’ve craved since I was nine years old. The shows and movies made it seem like it would be non-stop fun, but the truth is, this stage of life can feel lonely and lackluster. It makes me dream of another lifetime in the near future where I am the same person but in a different timeline.

Although this may seem bleak, it is the reality for me and others in this area of ​​life. When reality doesn’t match our expectations or our wildest imaginations, it can feel like we’ve abandoned a part of our childhood self. I’ve learned the best way to deal with this feeling is to mindfully slow down the urge to rush through life. Sometimes the only way to feel present is to fall in love with being alone and learn to love the version of yourself that exists right now. If reality isn’t what you imagined, at least you can still love the person you’re becoming.

Be kind to yourself

It starts with treating yourself grace. When life doesn’t manifest itself the way you dreamed, it’s easy to become dissatisfied with life. Studying during this time also brings with it an added layer of grief, especially when you see others who seem to be living in a different reality than you imagined. Don’t beat yourself up because you’re not where you wanted to be or because this isn’t the experience you imagined. Speak kind words to yourself. You cannot achieve a positive and present attitude by talking down to yourself.

Romanticize life

What does it even mean to live in the present? There is no set definition, but for Meit’s about living through moments fully rather than trying to get to the end. Romanticizing everything about your current life and position is a great way to live presently. Experience the walk to class or the library and enjoy the scenery or the way the air feels. Try a new recipe that you have saved for a “better” time. Look for beauty bags even in the most everyday items. This has been really helpful for me and makes me feel like I value my time and myself in whatever current life I’m living.

Nurture your inner child

For me, nostalgia is a silent killer. I long to experience even a single day of my childhood life. I feel like I need to go back and experience a day on a conscious level where I understand that the past never comes back. But I don’t have a time machine, so the best way I can combat this is by doing things I loved as a child – like watching an old Disney series (my favorite show). Hannah Montana) or a film that shaped your childhood. Listen to old music – this is the strongest feeling of relief or nostalgia because music can take you back to another time, like when you heard the song for the first time or when you heard it for the 100th time. There are a million ways to do something at your age that will bring out the kid in you and make life a lot easier.

Sit in the uncomfortable silence

One of the hardest things about growing up and going to college is facing the quiet moments when it’s just you and your thoughts – alone. Life’s worries feel heightened and your mind is racing, but to live in the present it’s important to learn to sit with yourself and value your time. It’s uncomfortable I knowbut this is the only way you can build a relationship with yourself that makes you happy to be the person you are right now.

Feel your feelings, look for the beauty in everything and get to know yourself. The past is gone and the future is not yet here, but what you have is yourself – and the ability to live in this moment. Goodbye.