The participants of the “Golden Bachelorette” show what it takes to be a good man. Bachelor Nation fans shouldn’t settle for anything less.

If the internet has taught me anything, it’s that men are not okay. They’re lonely, they have a hard time making friends, and apparently some people don’t like it when their wives get a raise. Let’s not get started on the Andrew Tate acolytes. But on Wednesdays at 8 p.m. I travel to a magical place called The Golden Bachelorettewhere the men are caring and emotionally intelligent and have fun hobbies like surfing, dancing and cooking. Is this real life?

Naturally, That’s not it. Like the rest The Bachelor franchise and all of reality television, ABC’s senior dating show is a carefully produced fantasy show that reflects our deepest beliefs about humanity. We know that older men can be just as stuffy as their floppy-eared counterparts. So why are the guys at Joan Vassos’ inaugural party like this? Golden Bachelorette The season was so dreamy and well-rounded while many of the boys were regulars Bachelorette It’s going well, isn’t it? As a seasoned reality TV viewer, I would say that we have a carefully crafted redemption arc before us – not for any particular man, but for humanity.

We’re all probably familiar with the popular belief that girls grow up faster than boys – a narrative that comes up all too often when someone wants to excuse a man’s bad behavior. “Boys will be boys” is a phrase – or excuse – that is used all too often. When I look at the young men looking for love The Bachelorettemany seem to play this role. They’re a little immature, they argue, and in the words of one contestant who competed on Jenn Tran’s season, they suck at “leaving the main thing as the main thing.” Every season, some guy does a silly stunt and gets the exact reaction I think the producers want: Why are men like that?

Obviously #NotAllMen Are so on The Bachelorette or in real life. Just look at franchise star Joey Graziadei, who overcame Charity Lawson’s season to become our best Bachelor in years and now maybe even win Dancing with the stars. Or Jonathon Johnson, who brought us all to tears when Tran sent him packing. By and large the men are up The Bachelorette are in a completely different league than those who appeared there The Golden Bachelorette. Age makes us all wiser (hopefully), but it also seems there’s something deeper going on here.

From the moment ABC announced Gerry Turner as its first Golden Bachelor in July 2023, fans could see the story begin to take shape. He was portrayed as more mature, sensitive and serious than the typical young people – a story that fell apart after The Hollywood Reporter fact-checked several aspects of his backstory.

The fantasy fell apart even further when Turner and his final rose recipient, Theresa Nist, announced their divorce in April 2024, just three months after their televised “golden wedding.” As shocking as the THR revelation may have been, the divorce was somewhat predictable. Turner and Nist live halfway apart and both expressed how important it is for them to stay geographically close to their respective families. Would we have trusted a younger couple to figure this out, or would everyone have seen the divorce a little earlier?

In the Vassos season, the men were also portrayed as more soulful, although one of them had less screen time due to an injunction. It’s not just that all of her suitors were nice and got along (although that’s refreshing). It’s the deep camaraderie that has bonded them since the moment they entered the villa and started shooting cannonballs into the pool. These candidates have been open with each other about the loss of their wives. They bought each other sleeping pills and ran out after the rose ceremony to hug their eliminated friends. Not once in the history of The Bachelor Have we seen a group of men so seriously invested in each other’s happiness? The testosterone-fueled competition that normally drives The Bachelorette is gone and in its place is real empathy. I just wish we could keep seeing this The Bachelorette, to.

And why not? As fun as it can be to play the old “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” hits and joke about how silly “men these days” can be, There are still many princes among the frogs. Don’t any of them want to find love on TV until they’re 70?

To some extent, casting a reality show depends on the luck of the draw; The producers cast a wide net for their applicant pool and decide who makes the best stories. But if this franchise and its many spinoffs have taught its loyal fanbase anything, it’s that we can tell many types of stories, even with the same people.

While The Bachelorette seems to be cast for drama, suspense and poignancy, our first season of The Golden Bachelorette has opted for pure, unadulterated seriousness. Nobody wants a 61-year-old woman being pushed around. I just wish leading women in their 20s could receive the same courtesy.