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Dear Abby: One of my friend’s ex-wives likes to stir things up

Dear Abby: One of my friend’s ex-wives likes to stir things up

DEAR ABBY: I’m dating an older man who has two ex-wives. I met both of them. I don’t mind. The last ex-wife and I get along. She usually calls me because he doesn’t answer the phone for her. The first ex-wife I don’t like at all (I always talked to her) because she lied to me about him.

One of the things this woman does is have her kids call and tell him to call her (which he sneaks around to do). She talks to him about two of her children (supposedly his) and has cheated on him several times. Whenever we see them, which is usually at one of the kids’ houses, he or she runs to hug the other one. I think this is very wrong and I said something to him twice.

Am I wrong? Am I jealous? He says they don’t want to be together, they are just friends, but I don’t trust her. I feel like she’s trying to cause trouble. (Not to mention that one of the kids remarked, “If mom wanted him back, she could take him back.”) I respect your opinion. Please help me. – Am I right or wrong?

LOVE TRUE OR FALSE: Many divorced couples try to work things out amicably for the sake of their children. Your twice-married boyfriend could be one of them. If you trust his words, his first ex-wife is unlikely to destroy your relationship unless your insecurities allow it. If you can’t trust this man’s word, you should no longer be together. What the boy said didn’t improve the situation. Please do not let this cause problems in your relationship with your father.

DEAR ABBY: I filed for divorce nine months ago. The judge signed my papers six weeks ago. I was with my alcoholic ex-girlfriend for 17 years and married for 12 years. I knew it had been over a year since my wedding, so I prepared for it.

Four months ago I met “Aaron,” a man I’ve come to really like. He feels the same way, but my sisters don’t think I should think about a relationship. My children are grown and out of the house. They met Aaron and say, “Whatever makes you happy,” but I’m afraid if my sisters find out I’m dating someone, they’ll react negatively. I really want them to know how happy I am, but I’m not sure if I should say anything yet. Please help. – FREE, NOT FREE, IN IOWA

LOVE FREE, NOT FREE: You have just come out of a long and difficult marriage that must have been stressful and depressing. At the moment you are on an emotional high. Your sisters give you good advice. Slow!

If what you and Aaron have together is as good as you think it is, keep seeing him and get to know each other better. Stop hiding him from your sisters and introduce him. But if you do, tell them you’re not jumping from the frying pan into the fire and take time to get to know him before making any permanent decisions. You have earned this right.

TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE ROSH HASHANA: The Jewish New Year begins at sunset this evening. In this time of solemn introspection, I wish my Jewish readers “L’shana tova tikatevu” – may you be inscribed in the book of life and have a good year.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.