Dear Annie: Everyone left me except my dog

Dear Annie: I sit here and think about my life. I’m 65, sick and live alone with my little dog. Fifteen years ago, my only daughter asked for space while doing her master’s thesis. I gave her space, but I’ve only seen her about five times since then. I begged her to talk to me and asked her to forgive me, but nothing changed. She is now studying medicine and I am very proud of her, even though we have no contact.

I used to get news about her from her father, but he was abusive – physically, emotionally and financially – so I had to cut him out of my life two years ago. He is rich and generous to her and even gave her a house. But I suspect he poisoned their minds against me.

I’m not saying I was a perfect mother. I had a stressful career and shared custody 50% of the time. I covered her health insurance and sent her to private school. She is incredibly smart and talented. Sometimes I try to console myself by thinking that their distance means I have raised an independent woman.

But the truth is, I’m alone. My dog ​​and a close niece are my only reasons to move on, but my niece has her own life and family. I have heart surgery tomorrow and honestly I’m praying I don’t make it through. The man I loved died in a car accident last year and since then I have lost everything – my possessions, my savings, my home. I live on Social Security in a small apartment in a bad neighborhood and rely on food banks to survive. My siblings don’t talk to me.

I just want people to understand: letting down a parent feels like having your heart ripped out. I don’t know what I did wrong and I don’t know how to fix it. I raised her for 28 years and now I have nothing. I wish someone would just talk to their parents and explain what went wrong. I would do anything to have a chance to make things right.

Every year I send her a birthday present and donate to an animal shelter in her name at Christmas. But I don’t think I can last much longer. – All connections lost

Dear, all connections lost: Please seek professional help immediately. You may feel like you’ve lost all connections, but you’re not alone. There are many people who care about you and want to help you. The charity Samaritans is a wonderful resource.

“How can I forgive my unfaithful partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology—featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation—is available in paperback and e-book. Visit for more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].