“Casual” TikTok Trend: Does Fast Action Work in Relationships?

You saw that TikTok trend: “Casual things my partner and I did when we first met” on one slide, examples of them doing “literally nothing” inconspicuously on the next, like being official to drop the L-bomb or pull together super early on, almost like it’s a competition…

Like most TikTok trends, this one seems to be flawed in nature it is set to Chappell Roan’s “Casual” – basically the anthem for being manipulated and treated like shit in a situation (do you know that? I don’t think so…) and the fact that the lyrics about eating out are muted (just in case that they are their parents). See that, I guess?)but the TMI about their relationship speed is heard loud and clear. Oh, and a majority of Couples who jump on this trend are either dating or newlyweds. Would love to see how you guys are doing in 10 years, Josh and Jessica!

Sure, there are some long-term relationships To here – like this podcaster and her country star boyfriend, who have been together for over a yearR… (but didn’t he cheat?). There’s also this couple that’s sweeter than pumpkin spice syrup where the girl is is always looking “Fire.” These two cuties knew they were soulmates from their first date. After six months he bought a ring, and for ten years they have been inseparable, now.

@galindosonthego this trend was made for me #casual #chappellroan #couple ♬ Casual – Chappell Roan

Like most things that go viral, the casual trend is trending now at the point where it matters Play, with Critics call how it promotes love bombing and unhealthy relationship dynamics. But then again, you probably know at least one fast-moving and now long-lasting couple that Are living proof of “when you know you know” (🙋🏼‍♀️my husband, myself included). And then there are those quick relationships that fail and burn (ahemR…Mmostly every relationship I’ve had before my husband, plus most celebrity couples).

What does a licensed therapist think about relationships that spring up in a flash and how can they survive instead of falling for your FYP word? According to trauma and relationship therapist Alana DurandLMSW, “Extremes are rarely sustainable.” This trend could mean that the standards for finding a lasting relationship are unrealistic because we don’t know the context of what happened after their accelerated courtship or how they ended their relationship maintained and deepened. Let’s get into it.

How can an “instant” relationship last?

Maybe you’re reading this because your new relationship is already progressing quickly and you’re worried it might be too good to be true. There are some things you can do to keep your fast ship going. Durand suggests working on it have transparent communication that leaves room for errors (becauseum, You are still getting to know each other), match your words to your actions, which will help your mutual trust develop quickly, and try to balance excitement and patience.

It’s also important to approach your new exciting relationship with curiosity Key (No, that doesn’t mean going through their phone or stalking their ex on social media). The It’s more about really getting to know the person you’re dating rather than reveling in the idea of ​​them for “when.” We are drawn first It’s easy for another person to fill in the gaps of things we don’t yet know and create a version of it that doesn’t quite match their identity. The is normal and adaptable, but if we don’t update our understanding of the other person when we learn new information, we are doomed to separation,” explains Durand.

Red flags that cannot be ignored with love during fasting roadway

While a new relationship can be scary for your nervous system or emotional system initially Because it’s unfamiliar or challenging doesn’t mean you should run.Instead of ignoring these feelings, Durand suggests acknowledging these worries so you can understand better if it is based on fear of injury or if it is a response to an actual red flag.

Common warning signs in fast-paced relationships are partners who have done this a difficult time with negative or large Emotions from feeling overwhelmed, having a disagreement, or be stressed. “Healthy relationships need space for distress, misunderstandings, messy conversations, frustration, sadness, confusion and shame. When you realize that your partner (or you) can only be fully present when things feel exciting and happy “And perfect, the connection probably won’t be sustainable,” says Durand.

Other warning signs Durand should watch out for in fast-paced relationships include:

• When a partner is inconsistent and/or not responsible for their words or actions towards you.
• When they invalidate your feelings instead of trying to understand you, and or when they express “great feelings” at the beginning of dating, such as “I love you.”
• I want to spend every minute with youor proverb You are the only person who matters to them when you are still getting to know each other.

“There is no single truth when it comes to feelings and the reality is this depth of love is limited by the amount of ourselves we have revealed to each other,” adds Durand.

They do Really Love yourself, or will you be love bombed?

Of course, your new partner’s great gestures and words can also come from a genuine place and not be a manipulation tactic – like a love bomb. I know it is so Hard to believe in modern dating, but There are some good ones out there. So how do you know if they Really love you?

“There is never a guarantee that a person’s expressed feelings are genuine or honest,” says Durand. “The This is why building trust is so important. The more consistent someone is, the more consistently they do things, the more space they make for our emotional experience, the more work She do to understand theirs own Patterns and wounds (with it She The more consciously we can communicate them, the more confidently we can feel (mentally and physically) that they are real and true. The trick is: “more” means time. When it comes to building trust, there is no substitute for time.”

So yes, it’s possible that the hundreds of thousands of couples who did “literally nothing causal” at the start of their relationship are moving forward in a relationship as quickly as they can Strictly speaking work (Only look at The Bachelor… actually, whatever … not). But when it comes to making these relationships work the distance Beyond the TikTok trend, it’s all about investing in the health of your relationship.