“Mothers are dying:” Mental health advocates report a rise in maternal suicides

HONOLULU (HawaiiNewsNow) – Mental health service providers are reporting a disturbing trend in Hawaii – more mothers are committing suicide.

The nonprofit Kids Hurt Too helps children who have suffered trauma and says a mother has died by suicide every week for the past two months. That’s more than the total number of suicides they’ve seen in the last two years.

One woman, who asked HNN not to reveal her identity, spoke about the pressure to be a good mother and the stigma of looking weak.

“We are all so afraid of judgment. If it weren’t for us, you would see my face right now,” said “Ren,” a 40-year-old mother of an autistic teenager and caregiver to an ailing mother and grandmother.

She said she has struggled with mental illness since she was a teenager.

“Many people, especially many mothers, don’t want to talk about their struggles. They want to keep everything inside,” Ren said. “There are so many reasons why we don’t want to inconvenience our families. We are told that a good mother sacrifices everything for her children. They pushed themselves into the background.”

When asked what keeps her alive when she thinks about suicide, she said she thinks about the impact it would have.

“I didn’t want to embarrass anyone. I didn’t want to cause a stir. I also realized that I am a single parent. If something had happened to me, I don’t know what would have happened to my child, and that left me very withdrawn. It still does,” she said.

Ren is one of the lucky ones. The CDC reports a suicide in America at least every 11 minutes, and experts believe this is underreported due to stigma.

The US Surgeon General recently warned of the increased mental health risks for parents and caregivers.

“Mothers die. It’s like a period, they die from mental illness more often than any other medical complication,” said Sunny Chen, executive director of the Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition.

“We really need to look at things like paid family leave and policies that really support families, so that families feel supported and mothers feel supported, and that maybe that takes the edge off and we see less maternal suicide and drug use.”

Advocates say more parent-friendly policies and programs such as child care and flexible work schedules are needed to address the crisis. Nonprofits bring resources to where they are needed, like Lahaina.

Kids Hurt Too sends a school bus-turned-mobile community center to Maui as a safe place for traumatized families.

“The inflation-related finances of households, both because of COVID and these issues and because of the fire, have left households very, very stressed and very strained,” said Walker Rowsey, executive director of Kids Hurt Too.

And you can help too – reach out to colleagues and loved ones and end the shame and judgment by talking openly about mental illness.

“Conversations aren’t always pleasant, and that’s okay. “It’s about feeling vulnerable with each other and feeling the love for another human being being vulnerable,” Ren said.

Mental Health Resources

Hawaii takes care of 988 — Local crisis counselors are available 24/7 by phone, text or chat to provide you with resources for mental health, substance use, suicide prevention, and child and youth services.

Call or text 988 to be connected to someone who can help you through difficult times.
Call Hawaii CARES directly at (808)832-3100 or toll free at 1-800-753-6879 for emotional support.
Chat on the Crisis Lifeline website.

Mental Health Resources from Maui Nui Strong – For direct links to mental health resources compiled by Maui County, click here.

Disaster relief hotline – Call or text the Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990 for immediate help and mental health support (press “2” for Spanish).

For Deaf and Hard of Hearing ASL Callers: To connect directly with an agent in American Sign Language, click the ASL Now button below or call 1-800-985-5990 from your videophone. ASL support is available 24/7.

DOH Maui Community Mental Health Center (CMHC) – The state Department of Health’s Maui Community Mental Health Center is providing crisis mental health services and extending hours of operation for those experiencing emotional or psychological distress as a result of the Maui wildfires.

For emergency services, contact Ccntact Maui CMHC at (808)984-2150 or email [email protected].
You can also visit the in-person clinic at 121 Mahalani Street in Wailuku. Clinic hours are as follows: Monday through Friday 8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Saturday and Sunday 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. After hours: Contact Hawaii CARES to speak with a crisis counselor at (808)832 -3100 or contact 988.

Hazel Health – In partnership with the state Department of Education, Hazel Health provides access to quality health care services to all students. free for familiesthis school year. A school health representative can arrange a video visit with a Hazel Health licensed therapist while your child is at school. Therapy sessions at Hazel Health are a safe space and are private and confidential.

Hazel visits are possible at school during regular school hours.
Hazel at Home services are available Monday through Friday from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m
To ensure your child has access to this service or to learn more about the service, click here.

Xplore Consulting – Xplore Counseling counselors are standing by to help anyone affected by the fire navigate difficult transitions.

Schedule an appointment by calling (808) 941-9648 or schedule an appointment online.
Recording times are Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m

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