What is the appropriate course of action if someone pees in a paper bag on an 8-passenger plane?

I’ve had some pretty uncomfortable experiences with air travel over the course of my time. Just last weekend, during a flight that left at 8 p.m., the guy sitting next to me had his reading light on the entire time, a move so crazy that it made me wonder why reading lights are even allowed on airplanes. The year is 2024. If you can’t read everything you need on your phone or Kindle, it’ll have to wait until you get off the plane.

But I have to say that I have never experienced anything worse in my life than being crammed into an eight-person plane and seeing a man take out his penis and piss into a paper bag that then leaks everywhere. This is worse than anything we’ve ever done at Gitmo.

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that you have to kill this guy. The only problem is causing a racket in a flying Hyundai Elantra, which could potentially cause some problems, but letting this guy continue to sit there with his piss bag and then get off the plane and re-enter society is simply not an option . Someone has to snap and do something.

This is simply an unbelievable act. Even in the worst circumstances, you just have to piss your pants. That won’t make people much happier than the bag, but at least you went down with the ship. I understand that at some point there’s not much you can do, but you can’t blame your poor piss-planning on the rest of a tiny plane.

This guy belongs in prison.