“Heartstopper” Season 3 is a love letter to support systems

“Heartstopper” is first and foremost a love story. The gentle story of first love is what originally drew me (and millions of others) to the boy-meets-boy Netflix series. Praised by audiences and critics alike for its portrayal of young, queer relationships – without the toxicity or tragedy – Heartstopper is wholesome teen content at its finest. Now in its third season, the love story has matured along with its viewers – as have the complexities of coping with puberty, particularly protagonist Charlie Spring’s deteriorating mental health and eating disorder (ED).

After reading the webcomics on which the TV series is based, I knew that Charlie’s journey this season (released on October 3rd) would resonate with me. But as the credits rolled, I gained an even deeper understanding of the theme at the core of my beloved series: people need people.

“Not a person there [ED] Recreation is an island. Recovery takes a village,” says Jessica Sprengle, LPC, PMH-C, eating disorder therapist, educator, and counselor. “EDs affect every body system and everyone.” [aspect] of a person’s life. Many different people are necessary to make healing possible. For example, a therapist cannot do what a nutritionist does. A doctor cannot do what a therapist does. And no professional can do what personal relatives can do.

In Charlie’s case, in this village there are friends who make him laugh, parents who can give him the help he needs, a sister who defends him unconditionally, a therapist who shows ways to better understand himself can, and of course Nick, his friend, who helps him feel safe, special and, above all, worthy of love.

Experts featured in this article

Jessica Sprengle, LPC, PMH-C is an eating disorder therapist, educator, and counselor.

Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C is an eating disorder and body image specialist, author, and founder of the Eating Disorder Center.

What “Heartstoppers” Gets Right About EDs and Support Systems

Nick plays one of the most important roles in getting Charlie to openly talk about his ED and mental health, providing viewers with a positive example of how to deal with the situation. Something he first observed last season has now escalated into a crisis he doesn’t know how to solve. He takes on the responsibility of “saving” Charlie, but soon realizes he can’t do it alone. He turns to his aunt (who happens to be a psychiatrist), played by Hayley Atwell, who tells him a harsh but necessary truth: “Charlie needs someone who isn’t his 16-year-old friend. He needs help from a doctor or therapist, someone knowledgeable about eating disorders. She also gives Nick, and therefore the audience, detailed instructions on how to talk to Charlie about getting help. “Choose a place where you both feel safe. Mention the things that have been troubling you. Let him know you care about him. Oh, and that’s an important point. Avoid conversations about food and weight,” she says.

That’s good advice that Sprengle takes up. “You can name your concerns directly, express your concern and care, and keep the door open for them to come to you if their feelings change. As a parent, you may approach it differently, especially depending on the severity, but ultimately.” “It’s ideal if the situation is collaborative.” Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C, founder of the Eating Disorder Center, author and eating disorder specialist, adds: “It’s important to focus not on weight, but on behaviors that worry you. It is also important to encourage them to seek professional support for an eating disorder assessment if you believe they may be struggling with it.”

Nick wants Charlie to talk to his parents, but Charlie fears they’ll get mad at him – or worse, not believe him. Nick offers to accompany him to tell his parents, a strategy that Sprengle says is invaluable. “First I just want to say how brave it is to reveal that you are struggling with your mental health and need more support. I think this is particularly true of eating disorders because they are poorly understood. There are many ways to do this.” Approach these conversations. [but] It is often always helpful to have a trusted and supported other in the presence.”

Charlie’s concerns are not entirely unfounded, as he has a complicated relationship with his mother Jane. She is quick to anger and can be overbearing due to her own fears, causing Charlie to feel alienated and misunderstood. While there’s a dose of normal teenage angst mixed in, Charlie also expresses that he feels like she only sees him as someone with a mental illness and not as a whole person. But viewers realize that Jane is the one who makes sure he sticks to his meal plan and accompanies him to appointments, which puts her in a difficult position as the one responsible for Charlie’s well-being. She balances dangerously between what he wants and what is best for him. Eventually, however, their communication develops, ultimately leading to forgiveness.

While Charlie’s relationship with his mother is contentious, his bond with his sister Tori is extremely close. Tori, played by Jenny Walser, considers Charlie her best friend and is his fiercest defender. “For Tori, this season is all about understanding how best to help the person she loves most as she watches him crumble before her eyes. “I think it’s something that’s not talked about as much, like siblings living under the same roof might be able to see things that parents can’t,” Walser said in a recent interview with Gay Times. The siblings have a candid conversation in the final episode, in which Tori admits that she gave Charlie all her love and would do it again. Then Charlie realizes that Tori hasn’t opened up to anyone or anything else because she cared for him so lovingly.

Similarly, Nick puts so much energy into Charlie that he loses his confidence. The experts we spoke to say it’s important to recognize and address this. “Caring for someone through their recovery process can be a labor of love, and that work cannot come from an empty vessel,” emphasizes Sprengle. As the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” As a supporter, it’s important to recognize and identify your own needs – self-care, rest, relaxation, fun – and ensure they are met,” adds Rollins added.

Charlie’s school friends are another part of his support system, although they are at the opposite end of the spectrum and take a more indirect approach. Charlie never tells them about his ED, instead making Nick explain why he doesn’t show up to school while he’s in an inpatient facility. Even when he’s back at school, they never talk about it or make it a topic of conversation while they’re together. They hang out, joke and talk about life; It is a different, more subtle form of support, but just as necessary.

Charlie calls his best friend Tao while he’s in the hospital and apologizes for not telling him. Tao immediately feels guilty for not catching on sooner, but after a few brief moments the two return to their casual banter. Shortly after, his friend group sends him a care box full of face masks, a deck of cards, a video of Tao, and individual messages from his friends. According to Sprengle, it’s little things like this that can have a big impact. “I personally know that when I was in inpatient treatment, receiving mail always gave me the feeling that I was not forgotten and that I was still remembered by people, even from a distance. Phone calls, texts, emails can be great too.” “Really, even the most basic feelings of love and care can make a big difference,” she says. At the end of his video, Tao sums up this feeling aptly and perfectly: “I hope this video makes you feel loved.”

Throughout the entire eight-episode season, the term “support system” is never used. Instead, it shows up in moments big and small, in the interactions Charlie has with Nick, his friends and his family. As Charlie’s therapist tells him, “You have people around you who love you and care for you, so enjoy them.” And that, in a nutshell, is the magic of the show.

Many have asked creator Alice Oseman how “Heartstopper” can tackle such heavy topics while maintaining its trademark optimism. My opinion? Everything goes back to love. These are characters who lead with love. They really care deeply about each other and ultimately about themselves. And that’s revolutionary for young people. In a final therapy session, Charlie concludes: “Even though I love Nick, I need other people. My sister. My parents, when they’re not being annoying. My friends. My therapist. And that doesn’t mean ours.” The relationship is not strong, in fact I think it is stronger now than ever before.

Ultimately, there is no other teenage romance that shows positive examples of relationships and self-love, especially when it comes to mental health, which is extremely useful in this way. “Eating disorders don’t discriminate,” says Rollin. “I’m so glad that ‘Heartstopper’ has shined a light on eating disorders among young men and the LGBTQ+ community.” Sprengle hopes that people who identify with Charlie’s story can leave the show feeling better represented to be and feel that they too deserve love, support and care and, most importantly, that recovery from ED is possible.

As Nick’s aunt tells him in the second episode: “…knowing that sometimes people need more support than one person can give. That’s love, darling.” And in the end, that’s exactly what happens. The relationship between Nick and Charlie becomes a common thread in the overall picture of the series’ true love story and superpower – the beauty of an unwavering support system.

Charisandra Perez is a social media strategist at PS. Charisandra has been working in social media for over five years and spends her days developing and implementing sales strategies on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and more. She has previously written for media outlets such as WhoWhatWear and The Zoe Report.