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I ask Eric: My retired husband’s nightly workouts are really affecting my sleep

I ask Eric: My retired husband’s nightly workouts are really affecting my sleep

Dear Eric: My husband has loved going to the gym since he retired. But he leaves at 11 p.m. or midnight. He said there were only a few people there at the time and he had access to all the machines, which was fine. The downside is that when he comes home between 1:30 and 2:00 in the morning, I’m woken up by the garage door, the lights, or the door just opening.

I asked him to move the training time earlier, but he doesn’t understand why it bothers me and why I wake up. I think it’s because I hear something while I’m sleeping and then wake up.

As soon as I’m awake I look at the clock and it’s 1:30 or 1:45 and then I realize why I’m waking up. I know he’s trying to be quiet, but I just hear it in my subconscious and just wake up.

When I go back to sleep it’s 3am or 3:30am and I wake up at 4:20am to start my day and go to work. He’s retired and can go to the gym anytime, and I’m still working. I go to bed around 10:30 p.m., but the disturbed sleep is just killing me.

– Doesn’t work

Dear Who Doesn’t Work Out: I don’t know what kind of bodybuilding utopia you live in, but I’d bet the gym is just as empty at 2 a.m. as it is at 11 p.m., if not emptier. So see if your husband will leave later and not earlier. That would result in him coming home at the same time you wake up.

You can also try wearing earplugs and a sleep mask to preserve your sleep.

However, he has to compromise with you. He may not understand why his noise wakes you, but that doesn’t make it any less true. He’s enjoying the privileges of retirement, and that’s great, but being free from the 9-to-5 is not the same as being free from civility and empathy in a relationship. Be firm about it – if he doesn’t want to work with you to find a solution, ask him why.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Keep following him Instagram and subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.